Not a Very Sweet Dream

Lord, Have Mercy.

I have frequent, vivid dreams, many I remember fully when I wake up, to my husband's chagrin.   I usually make him stand there and listen to it all, while his stomach is growling.

Early this morning, I dreamed I was somewhere in Indianapolis with Bill.  He wanted me to stay with him there so we could go home together.  I just really didn't want that. I wanted to go off by myself and do as I pleased.  I wanted so badly to go to this fantastic new shopping place near Indianapolis, where I would be perfectly happy.  No one knew exactly where it was, it was just somewhere "over there" on the Indy map.  I drove downtown, parked on a street, took out a huge bag of "stuff"  and started walking.  I also had on a man's suit jacket and some shorts.  I finally got to where I thought I wanted to be.  It was not really what I thought it would be at all.   Bill showed up there, and wanted me to go home with him, and not be out there by myself. I threw a fit, took everything out of my bulging bag, threw it on the ground, and took off in a huff, I was going to do what I wanted to do, hang him.  I then buttoned up the suit jacket, and  it appeared that I had on no garments underneath.  I was not dressed well at all for what I wanted to be doing, hanging out downtown wasting time, feeding my own wants and cravings.  Well, suddenly I was in a dark, lonely building, trying to put my walking shoes on.  I came down the stairs, and two really creepy guys tried to grab me.  I ran out of the building and down the street, back towards my car.  There were empty lots and old buildings everywhere I looked, nothing new. or exciting, nothing that would draw me in, nothing at all like I thought it should look.  I was afraid of walking by myself, there were crowds of people walking about, all in this wasteland of emptiness.  I thought I spotted my car, but a gang of teen boys was coming towards me.      I woke myself up. 

I'm  no expert on dream reading, but I'm sure this one is not hard at all to understand.  Bill is God  (don't tell him!),  I am a willful sinner,  "downtown" is turning away from God--the bright lights of sin.  The ruined city is what Satan really has waiting for us as a result of sin--a wasteland, a prison.   The bad outfit?  I was totally unprepared to be out on my own, without God.


This Psalm is read during Vespers, on Saturday evenings at St. Stephen the First Martyr, and at all Orthodox Churches around the world.   It bears repeating every Saturday night as a reminder that we need God's help to get us out of all the lonely wastelands we willfully choose to inhabit in our lives. 


Psalm 141 (142):4-8
When my spirit fainted within me,
Then You knew my paths;
For on the way I was going, they hid a trap for me.
I looked on my right, and saw
There was no one who knew me;
Refuge failed me,
And there was no one who cared for my soul.
I cried to You, O Lord;
I said, "You are my hope,
My portion in the land of the living,
Attend to my supplication,
For I was humbled exceedlingly;
Deliver me from my persecutors,
For they are stronger than I am.
Bring my soul out of prison
To give thanks to Your name, O Lord;
The righteous shall wait for me,
Until you reward me. "


Memory Eternal -  Marlene Chastain,  wife, mother, teacher


Dianne, willful sinner